It all started when I lost my Pants

poetry, musing, short stories and generally the inner workings of the brain of a 30-something year old woman who is a little nutty, a little sane, a little loud and just a little shy.

Thursday, December 01, 2005


It would seem that things are going very well in life right now. It would seem. I have just signed all the papers to start the schooling I have been wanting to take for years, I am living back in a small town, I am surrounded by good friends, I have great kids, the ground is covered in snow - which I love, I am involved in the theatre, which I am thrilled about, I am dreaming big dreams, and having big ideas.... What is wrong?

There is an underlying string of "something's just not right". It is a familiar feeling, it is a place I have been before. I know that it is going to pass as easily as it arrived. Why is it that, as a general rule, we humans are not satisfied with what we have?

I like to think that if we were ever truly satisfied, we wouldn't have new technology, new invention, art, prose, science, and the wonder of creation. If we were always satisfied with the things we have, there would be no need or want even for something better, something new, something that would take our breath away. Why settle for mundane when there is room for greatness? Or at the very least pretty fricken fantastic.

I don't want to be the sum of my parts, rather I want to strive for the potential of my ideas. How different would the world be if we taught each other to not settle, to not "just be happy with what you've got"? How different would things be if we all strived to use more than the small percentage of our brain we usually get by on? To coin a phrase - do we want to be the kind of people that only do the bare minimum?

How easy it is to just settle into a groove, to find a niche and live there happily and content. Is that really the answer? To be happy in our niche? To settle into our groove? To allow the cares of the world to wash away and just exist? Are they the people that have the answers? Or is it rather to search always? To be constantly learning? To always ask why? How? Who? What? To never settle for the first presented, but to know the variety of paths and choose not the easy road, but the road of our personal truth. I choose the latter. It may not be the road most traveled, but it is the one that I can live with.


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